how can u be prego again
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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