sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
