How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
