ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I cut my penus on the lid.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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