My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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