It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
