just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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