Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
