Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
