It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
