i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
