i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
