and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
