Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
