Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We need to get me chipped asap
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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