Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
