Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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