I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
