roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
