ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
