I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
