i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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