i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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