Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
