there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The Olympian is in my bed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
