We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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