I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
