dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
