Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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