I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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