on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
