Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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