Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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