I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
