Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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