Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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