Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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