No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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