I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
