Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
