did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
