I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We were destined to go to rehab together
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
