Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
