Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
More tranny stories later!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
