he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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