If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
