Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
