I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
