You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
