Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
